In every life there comes a time of decision, a time to consider what God has for us, and choose once and for all, whom we will serve. This time came for me when I was 15. I had just started piano teacher training, and, although I was considered a “good kid”, I was inwardly very rebellious. God gave my piano teacher a burden for my spiritual growth, and she began to give me books to read as teacher training that dealt with some of the many “issues” I had. As I read the first one, I found that many of the principles I was learning from it applied to daily life. I tried it for a week, until the novelty of it all wore off, and then dropped it. Then I started to read another book, which showed me a biblical vision for family life and relationships that I had never considered before.
The more I read, the more I began to be convicted about my relationship with and attitude toward my father. I knew I ought to act upon that conviction, but my sinful, prideful heart was unwilling to let that happen. As the weeks went by, and I read more and more, I realized that I had a choice to make. Either I ignore the things I had read and the Scripture behind them, or I fully surrender to God’s leading and take the first step toward mending the relationship with my father.
I struggled for a little longer, but finally decided to act upon God’s leading. I had done much to distance myself from my family, and especially from my dad, so it was a long road that I had set out on. I had so rejected my father’s love and protection, that it was several years before I had earned back his trust and mended the relationship. It was the hardest and most humbling thing I have ever done, for, although my teacher could see a difference, and encouraged me, I had not told anyone about my task. I was not alone, however, and during this time I found my Heavenly Father closer than ever before, and through my burden for my earthly father, God taught me much about Himself.
But before God could do this work in my heart, I had to make the choice so well spoken by Joshua of old: “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve…” (Joshua 24:15) Before I made that choice, serving God in that way seemed too difficult and “boring”, but though it was a hard thing God asked of me, He was faithful to help me through it.
That decision, that small first step, was the foundation of a beautiful and precious relationship with God that has grown dearer ever since. If I had at that point said no, and chosen to reject God’s word and will for my life, I would have ended up a miserable, rebellious, angry woman with a totally ruined life. My obedience in that instance gave God the opportunity to do other things in my heart and life which have shaped me into a completely different person than I was.
God had to bring me to the place where just pleasing people was not enough. Being good for the sake of gaining favor with those around me did not satisfy, and although outwardly I seemed to be a “good kid”, inwardly I was a rebellious, angry, selfish, spoiled little girl. It is only by God’s grace that I have come thus far, and I have very far yet to go, but God is faithful!
"...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."